When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
