i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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