This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize