as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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