This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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