Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize