I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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