Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
