i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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