Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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