So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
