well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We left the knife in your bed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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