your parents love me but you hate me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
