I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
