she woke up with a sticky ear
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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