...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
