Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
