did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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