Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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