ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
