her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
