brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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