I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
