would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
