What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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