Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
