Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
