Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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