Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
