Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
