Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
