At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
