Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
