I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize