there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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