i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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