that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
