sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
