Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
