My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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