just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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