One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
