dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
