it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
