What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
