I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
