just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
