i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
