shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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