Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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