He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
