i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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