I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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