she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My vagina just recognized that song.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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