I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
