True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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