If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
