David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
