Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
