We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
