they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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