Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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