friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
