I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
